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February 17, 2011 / Gillian

Screw You, Period.

My menstrual cycle is trying to consume my soul and crush me into teeny tiny pieces.  When I have my period, I gain weight.  We all do.  Women…that is.  This would be inconsequential except that for over a year I have been doggedly trying to go from 208lbs to 130lbs.  Currently I am at 148lbs.  Earlier in the week I was at 145lbs.  These would normally be inconsequential numbers except that I both exercise and weigh myself every day.  In fact I weigh myself pre- and post-workout.  I like to see what I’ve accomplished.  Today of all days I didn’t need this.

Today is Thursday and Thursday is Toddler Time at the library.  Toddler Time happens at 10:15am which is when usually, I would be exercising.  This means on Thursdays exercising either happens in the afternoon or it gets skipped altogether.  Today I’m feeling like complete crap.  Everything is unsatisfactory.  Everyone is making me want to punch them in the face.  I decided to give exercise a go anyway.  The weigh-in happened and 2.9lbs had been gained.  These are fake pounds.  What I mean when I say that is basically I then did fourteen minutes of yoga and was suddenly down 0.6lbs.  You don’t lose over half a pound with 14 minutes of yoga on actual weight gain.  It just doesn’t happen.  These are period pounds, designed to make me hate myself.  The effect was to make me immediately want to eat something horrid and chocolate.  Chocolate is my weakness.  Right now I’m munching on a bowl of baby carrots.

Screw you, Period.

I will not let you destroy me.

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